I've had one hell of a few days - driven more miles than I dare to think about, coaxed into life the deepest recesses of my still baby fuddled grey matter, and I've even worn heels for the first time in 18 months - and all for one big fat disappointment :(
To explain, we've been having a bit of a life review at the patch recently. Our findings were threefold...
1. My own job, which brings in the bulk of our family income, is looking ever increasingly wobbly due to the uncertainties of project funding and I don't really fully enjoy what I do anymore as I'm on the fringes of the profession I trained for.
2. Dave hates his job and gets paid absolute peanuts.
3. We want to move up North somewhere to be nearer my folks.
So, after much naval gazing and probably far too much thinking/discussing (one of our very bad habits as a couple) we decided to capitalise on my earning power and put me out on the professional job market again, earmarking Dave to become a full time stay at home daddy for R once I found something. It wasn't an easy decision - muchos guilt about potentially not being a proper Mum to R, reality check that I was never going to be one of those lucky Mums able to knit, sew and bake cakes for a living while being a kept woman, plus lots of puzzled faces from the nearest and dearest who think I really have the best of both worlds at the moment by working part time. But, I'm a security first type of gal and the uncertainty over my future job situation and stress about the money not going far enough was getting me down. Decision made - now I just had to get my head round the whole job market madness again.
I saw the perfect job instantly and things moved really fast. But, to cut a long story short, things were not to be this time round and I'm gutted. The job was great, the Uni was great (full of fresh feeling energy and a 100% female senior management team!), and the location was perfect - one of our top two places on the wish list. The worst thing was that I was great too. I got 100% brilliant feedback after my interview - I'd really proved myself able to get back into proper work head mode and then some - so to then be told you really impressed us but unfortunately we had to give the job to someone else was a real bummer.
Oh well, pack away the violins ... enough feeling sorry for myself and back to scanning those job pages.